Dear UU Parents and Guardians

I'd love for you to join us for our weekly offerings: 

Sunday 11am 

Sunday School 
30 Min Program geared towards K-5 but open to all ages
Email me for the link

Middle and HS Zoom 
Monday nights 6pm: 
Email me for the link

Parent and Guardian Chat: 
The chance for parents and guardians to just get together and
Every other Thursday 8pm and every other Wednesday noon
Thursday the 16th 8pm
      Link: https://zoom.us/j/866583131     Password: lovemykids
Next Wednesday the 22nd noon
      Link: https://zoom.us/j/474526337     Password: lovemykids

New Youtube links for this week!

Story with Ms Alexa: https://youtu.be/buyn3jGPBEA

Story with Miss Heather: https://youtu.be/buyn3jGPBEA

Music with Miss Molly:  https://youtu.be/X8rbiJE7oHI  

Weekly Message for Parents and Guardians
Theme this week:
Anger AND Forgiveness

Chelsea's Meditation: https://youtu.be/E8pRasDG0h0

The meditation lessons which I am doing are geared towards K-5th graders, but everyone is welcome to them. The theme for my lesson this week was: Anger and forgiveness. I read the book, "Ahn's Anger"

Kiddos fighting a lot during this time? 
Finding yourself in the midst of lots of tantrums? 
Needing a reminder for yourself to cool down?

The lesson this week may help a bit. 

"Anger is a natural and human response to situations that are threatening, unjust, or inappropriate, or in which we feel powerless, demeaned, or afraid. As such, anger is an important signal from our mind and body that tells us there's something we ened to pay attention to. The purpose of our practice therefore is not to eliminate anger, but to learn how to listen to it and respond in ways that don't result in further harm. In meditation we learn that we are not our thoughts, but we are responsible for them. Likewise, we are not our anger, but we are responsible for it. Over time, through understanding and practice, we move away from destructive reactions toward more skillful responses." - Sumi Loundon Kim

Some phrases for working with anger in meditation are: 
May I accept my feelings as they are
May I take care of my anger with compassion and ease
May this situation teach me about the true nature of life
May I see clearly what is here, and respond wisely
May I be free from so much anger and blame
May I find the resources to understand and not judge myself or others harshly
You give me your anger. I do not accept it. The anger still belongs to you. 
May I respond to anger with kindness. 

Discussion Questions:
1. What are your beliefs or views about anger? Is anger acceptable or unacceptable? 
2. What strategies do you currently have in working with your anger? What strategies would you like to change, or add? How are you teaching your children to handle anger?
3. How was anger expressed and dealt with in your family of origin? In your partner's family of origin?
4. Anger comes out more readily in family situations than in other contexts because the normal social barriers to expressing anger are removed. How does anger manifest itself in your family? How do you handle conflicts around space and time, feeling respected or loved, child-rearing and household responsibilities, and the need for change?

If you'd like to read more, this is a great article from 'Tiny Buddha' called, "Don't Control Anger- Control Yourself" https://tinybuddha.com/blog/dont-control-anger-control-yourself/

Take a deep breath. We are in this together. Please always feel free to reach out to me. I'm here for you.
Be gentle with yourselves this week. 
I am grateful for you. 

​Dear UU Parents and Guardians

I'd love for you to join us for our weekly offerings: 
***Note: Some of these links have changed as there are now required passwords for safety***

Sunday 11am 

Sunday School 
30 Min Program geared towards K-5 but open to all ages
Email me for the link

Middle and HS Zoom 
Monday nights 6pm: 
Email me for the link

Parent and Guardian Chat: 
The chance for parents and guardians to just get together and
Every other Thursday 8pm and every other Wednesday noon
Thursday the 16th 8pm
      Link: https://zoom.us/j/866583131     Password: lovemykids
Next Wednesday the 22nd noon
      Link: https://zoom.us/j/474526337     Password: lovemykids

New Youtube links for this week!

Story with Ms Alexa: https://youtu.be/7vSHefCpF08

Story with Miss Heather: https://youtu.be/E35juPsiMaQ

Music with Miss Molly:    https://youtu.be/fFIgFQD5PvA  

Weekly Message for Parents and Guardians
Theme this week:
Loving kindness (ie: 'metta' in Buddhist tradition) (Yup - week 2 of this theme)

Chelsea's Meditation: https://youtu.be/vdja8__933M

The meditation lessons which I am doing are geared towards K-5th graders, but everyone is welcome to them. The theme for my lesson this week was: loving kindness which is also known in the Buddhist tradition as 'metta'. Sending love to ourselves and also out to the world. 

The video this week continues with a loving kindness meditation. 
With children, I used phrases such as, "May my family be happy....may I be happy....may all beings be happy" etc
Some alternate phrases which your children could do, or for you to keep in mind for your own practice are: 
May I accept this _____ as it is
May the power of loving-kindness support me
May I accept/let go of/be free from this anger/fear/resentment/shame
May I be free from danger. May I be protected. 
May I feel ease of heart
May I be held in compassion
May I be free from pain and sorrow
May I meet fear with courage and an open heart
May the force of love transform my fears
May I be happy just as I am 
May my body relax
May I show myself the same kindness I would show to a loved one

Questions for you as a parent/guardian this week: 
1. Do you think that kindness for others begins with kindness for oneself? Why or why not? 
2. Did the metta practice have any impact on your interaction with your children and others living in your home? 
3. How have relationships that foster loving kindness changed with social distancing for your family?

Strategies: Words by Sumi Loundon Kim

If it's not easy to send loving-kindness to yourself, try one or several of these strategies. 

Envision a Circle of Kindness
Picture yourself sitting in the middle of a circle of people you admire and respect, as well as those who love you. Imagine each person one at a time, or all the people in the circle at once, sending you metta. 

Remember Your Goodness
Recall at least one thing, perhaps more, that you have done that was kind or thoughtful in the recent past. The gesture can be as simple as holding the door open for someone or refraining from saying something crabby to a family member because it would ruin their mood. Or you might remember something from the past few days or months that revealed some aspect of yourself that was admirable or lovely. 

Build a Fire
Ajahn Brahm, a well-known Buddhist monk based in Australia, instructs people to do metta for themselves at the very END of the meditation. He likens building the heart of metta to building a fire. He begins with small, dry kindling that easily bursts into the flame of love; for him, this means imagining a small, homeless kitten, which he takes into his arms and promises to care for and love, Then, he recommends one add sticks to this small fire that are harder to light, but nonetheless will catch fire easily from the kindling and logs: these are analogous to friends. With a stronger fire started, then one sends metta to neutral people, then to difficult people, like wet logs, and then finally, when the fire is roaring, we can add, like a wet and sappy stick, our own selves. Practicing metta in this reverse order is an excellent strategy for those struggling with self-hatred. 

Be gentle with yourselves this week. 
I am grateful for you. 

​Dear UU Parents and Guardians, 

I'd love for you to join us for our weekly offerings: 
***Note: Some of these links have changed as there are now required passwords for safety***

Sunday 11am 

Sunday School 
30 Min Program geared towards K-5 but open to all ages
Email me for the link

Middle and HS Zoom NEW THIS NEXT WEEK! 
Monday nights 6pm: 
Email me for the link

Parent and Guardian Chat: 
The chance for parents and guardians to just get together and
Every other Thursday 8pm and every other Wednesday noon
Next Thursday the 16th 8pm
      Link: https://zoom.us/j/866583131     Password: lovemykids
Next Wednesday the 22nd noon
      Link: https://zoom.us/j/474526337     Password: lovemykids

New Youtube links for this week!

Story with Ms Alexa: https://youtu.be/L_Mpb2rYGy4

Story with Miss Heather: https://youtu.be/0_Ed3HgQ0vI

Music with Miss Molly:   https://youtu.be/49mv-Wmt7-4  

Weekly Message for Parents and Children 
Theme this week:
Loving kindness (ie: 'metta' in Buddhist tradition) and a stuffed animal guided meditation

Chelsea's Meditation: https://youtu.be/7vHyeRPgxAY   

The meditation lessons which I am doing are geared towards K-5th graders, but everyone is welcome to them. The theme for my lesson this week was: loving kindness which is also known in the Buddhist tradition as 'metta'. Sending love to ourselves and also out to the world. 

Metta phrases typically consist of phrases such as: 
May I/you/all beings be happy
May I/you/all beings be healthy
May I/you/all beings be safe
May I/you/all beings live with ease

In the fullest form, metta meditation works with six categories of beings - generally in an order such as this: 
1. Oneself
2. Benefactor
3. Friend
4. Neutral person
5. Difficult person
6. All beings

The idea behind metta meditation is to develop a sense of kindness by invoking memory and presence of those close to us but then radiating that feeling outward increasingly further or more challenging. 

"A great image for how intention works in the heart is to think of a field of tall grass between a house and a lake shore. The first time you walk from the porch to the lake, you can hardly see the path you cut. The second time, the grass is bent lower down, and the path is clearer. If you walk that path every day, eventually the grasses part and you've created a clear, wide, and easy path. Likewise, our minds and hearts make certain journeys quite regularly, sometimes of resentment, guilt, or shame. With metta meditation, we are widening the pathway of kindness. The more we practice metta, the easier it becomes to go down that open, well-traveled path" - Sumi Loundon Kim

Questions for you as a parent/guardian this week: 

1. Do you often extend yourself loving kindness or do you find yourself thinking negatively about your thoughts or actions more often that not. Why? 
2. What are some relationships in which a natural loving-kindness is already present for you or for your children? What are the qualities of that relationship? 

My mantra for this week has been the word, 'grace'. 
This time of isolation, LPS being out, work changes, fear, uncertainty....we all need to grant ourselves a lot of grace -- and grant one another grace. Breathe. We are going through something new that we have never ever done before or could possibly prepare to do. My friend Abby reminded me that there will be much time in the future for me to be an amazing parent - if all I am doing is mediocre in this moment - that is okay. There is still a lot of love in our hearts. Even if I am not feeling in the moment that I am at my best self, at least I can say my children got fed today...a few of us likely got bathed...and everyone got hugs. Grace. Grace. Grace. 
​
May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you be well. 

​Dearest UU Parents and Guardians, 

This is the second installment of my weekly emails that I will be sending while we are away from the church. 

Please join us Sunday at 11am for 'in person' video Sunday School through Zoom. 
Please email me for the link

You can find my short video with a story and meditation with a theme of 'distraction' also known as 'puppy brain' :) and reading the book, "Ziji - the Dog Who Learned to Meditate" at this link here: 
​https://youtu.be/d1CClMGOyW0

Preschool teachers Molly and Heather are doing videos for preschool students here: 
https://youtu.be/dnLYiGT3cI8  

Also - did you know there is a facebook page for parents and guardians at the Unitarian Church of Lincoln? Join our group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/402815636528634

High School Students: You are invited to join Youth In Action on Wednesday nights with Ashleigh. You can contact her on how to participate: [email protected]

Middle and High School students combined: We are working on creating a time for you to connect with Zoom and waiting on volunteers to coordinate. Please wait for further information. 

Here are some thoughts for you this week that also correlate with my mini lesson about distraction. 

How often do you notice yourself taking a deep breath in a day? Do you do this intentionally? I have three children. Every day recently I feel like I am being pulled in a million directions. How many snacks do these children really need in an afternoon?!? How many questions can a 3 year-old ask? I'm trying to be better about taking deep breaths and PAUSING before I respond more often. Too often I find myself giving the easy answer: 'no'.
 
Side note: I tried to wake up thinking I'd say 'yes' more often today...within the first 20 minutes of my day, my daughter wanted pickles for breakfast, and to hide dried fruit around the house Easter Egg-style for 'friends' (like mice?)....so....had to re-think the whole 'yes' thing with some boundaries....

My thoughts turned more to how I can respond to my children in a way that is thoughtful...and breathing before I answer their questions can help with that. 

These words from Sumi Loundon Kim

"When I first became a mom, I wished I had more arms, maybe even another me. Running a household, working, and raising kids is a lot ot handle, and sometimes it feels like everything wont get done unless we do two, maybe even three, things at the same time. I've had moments when I have my mobile phone pinched between my ear and shoulder, I am chopping carrots, and I am silently mouthing and pointing to my child to "go away, go play, I'm on the phone, stop it now." Just imagining that scene is stressful! As an experiment, you're invited to observe whether your stress levels become lower by just doing one thing at a time with your full attention. While chopping carrots, just chop carrots. While bathing your child, just bathe your child. As mentioned above, include setting aside your digital device when performing a task, and avoid micro-tasking by checking messages or social media updates. When doing online work, only do that, as well. One thing at a time."

Questions for you to ponder this week: 
1. When in your day do you commonly find yourself multitasking? Are there strategies to simplify those times? 
2. What are some times in your family routine in which it would be the most helpful to incorporate taking a deep breath intentionally? 

In practice: 
A simple way for you to build a small meditation into your day is to pick one routine or activity where you can connect with your breath. Is it before you open your emails? Is it while you are doing dinner preparation? Meditation does not have to be sitting down quietly for an hour. It can be simply mindful of what you are doing. I have started incorporating the phrase, "Be here - now" into my day when I look down at my hands. I know I don't personally sit well for an hour in total silence, yet, I can find small moments in my crazy days to be present. I am sitting and writing the email to you in my backyard with the sunshine on my shoulders. I will take a deep breath before I hit 'send'....(which may be later in the day after I have attached links and proof-read...)

Much love to you all as you navigate the week ahead. 
I miss you terribly - I would love to hear from you!