Dear UU Parents and Guardians,
It would be lovely if you could join us for our weekly gatherings! Here is what is currently being offered: Sunday School Approximately: 30 Min Program geared towards K-5 but open to all ages Sundays at 11am Email me for the link Middle and HS Zoom Monday nights 6pm: Email me for the link Parent and Guardian Chat: The chance for parents and guardians to just get together and Every other Thursday 8pm and every other Wednesday noon Wednesday the 3rd at noon Link: https://zoom.us/j/474526337 Password: lovemykids Thursday the 11th at 8pm Link: https://zoom.us/j/866583131 Password: lovemykids New Youtube links for this week! Music with Miss Molly: https://youtu.be/_3HShSuc1s0 Weekly Message for Parents and Guardians Theme this week: 'Monkey Brain' Chelsea's Meditation: https://youtu.be/WmvF7AhUBxA The meditation lessons which I am doing are geared towards K-5th graders, but everyone is welcome to them. The theme for my lesson this week was: 'Monkey Brain' I read the book: Mindful Monkey, Happy Panda Reflection: I don't know about you, but I am having the hardest time sleeping. The baby is of course teething, which doesn't help anything. However, my mind is constantly racing. I am having an incredibly difficult time calming my thoughts down. No amount of yoga, or guided meditation is slowing me down right now. This week's video, story, and meditation for children is about how to be present in the moment. But....what if the present moment SUCKS? So much of what is going on in the world right now is hard to cope with hearing about. What do we as parents do, if we are trying to model for our children how to cope as well? I don't have the answer, honestly. 'The best we can' is about all I think I can muster. We show them that we are human, and that it is not always easy to be human. Breathe. Sometimes all we can do is take everything one minute at a time. Words by Sumi Loundon Kim: There's a commercial in which a mother blissfully sails through each room of her home, encountering one scene after the other that would normally cause her to be irritated: a teenage son banging away on drums, a young daughter emptying drawers and making a mess. but why is the mother so blissful? because she is listening to her favorite selection of music through her headphones. The message of the ad is that the way to be content with your family is to tune them out - literally. But if we look carefully at the origins of a lot of family fights, it's most often because people are not paying attention. They're lost in their video game or lost in thought while making dinner. Meanwhile, trouble is brewing: the little sister took her big brother's Lego structure and began taking it apart. Or a spouse keeps asking the other to do something but they aren't listening. Then, someone explodes: "Give it back!" "Do it now!" "Listen to me!" If we want to create peaceful homes, then it's essential for parents to stay tuned in to the atmosphere of the home. As you are cleaning or making a meal, rather than being lost in thought, let your awareness spread out into the far distances of your home. Let your ears be open to the sounds of the environment. Get a sense of the mood of the home, other beings present, and your own place in the home. With greater awareness, we may pick up on the beginnings of bad weather (especially between siblings) before it brews into a storm. The added benefit is that we may truly enjoy and appreciate being at home with our loved ones. Discussion questions to consider this week: 1. What thought patterns or attitudes have you observed when you try to relax? 2. How do you react to your thinking? 3. To what extent would you assess your level of tuning in to your home environment? What gets in the way of tuning in, and what supports it?
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Dear UU Parents and Guardians,
It would be lovely if you could join us for our weekly gatherings! Here is what is currently being offered: Sunday School THIS WEEK IS DRAG QUEEN STORY HOUR!!!! Approximately: 30 Min Program geared towards K-5 but open to all ages Sundays at 11am Email me for the link Middle and HS Zoom Monday nights 6pm: Email me for the link Parent and Guardian Chat: The chance for parents and guardians to just get together and Every other Thursday 8pm and every other Wednesday noon Thursday the 28th 8pm Link: https://zoom.us/j/866583131 Password: lovemykids Wednesday the 3rd at noon Link: https://zoom.us/j/474526337 Password: lovemykids New Youtube links for this week! Story with Ms Alexa: https://youtu.be/Hgr0q9pYcwk Story with Miss Heather: https://youtu.be/CvgiPEtQHJQ Music with Miss Molly: https://youtu.be/Ga46NrKWrPw Weekly Message for Parents and Guardians Theme this week: Everyday Mindfulness Chelsea's Meditation: https://youtu.be/VmI2KqTQv8g The meditation lessons which I am doing are geared towards K-5th graders, but everyone is welcome to them. The theme for my lesson this week was: Everyday Mindfulness I read the book: 'Each Breath a Smile' I do a meditation with pebbles Reflection: This week, a family member had an emergency appendectomy. My computer crashed after an icky automatic Windows upgrade. I was in the middle of doing my taxes. My taxes kept saving in places prior to where I had already entered information (I think I entered my driver's license number ten times...) My baby spilled a whole container of blueberries all over the kitchen floor. My 3 year-old was digging in the garden and knocked the baby with a shovel upside the head. (He's fine). My 3 year-old may have broken her collar bone AGAIN for the 2nd time this year...there's nothing that can be done, so we aren't even going in for x-rays. My 5 year-old asks for snacks every 20 minutes even when other food is available to him. It was a week that certainly tested my patience. Yet...what could I really do about any of this? I breathed. I breathed again. I took MANY long, deep, bottom-of-the-belly breaths. Over and over and over. Taking a moment to step back and just breathe really does take PRACTICE. Being mindful can sometimes just be in that MOMENT. Yet, we need to remind our brains that instead of getting worked up, breathing, or stepping back for a moment is what we should do. I got through this week, clearly. Here I sit on a lovely rainy day with my cup of tea...and all will be well. When we feel so helpless, breathing really does help. It centers us. It reminds us: I am here. Now. It reminds us of that which we CAN control. So, dear fellow parents, when your child refuses to go to nap, or asks for a that Frozen song for the tenth time today...breathe. This too shall pass. Discussion questions to consider this week: 1. Is there something that happens regularly in your day where you find yourself stressed out and needing to breathe more? Is there something which you can do to adjust that recurring event to make it better? 2. What else in your life has taken practice for you to master? An instrument? A sport? A dance routine? Learning how to play chess? Do you find it challenging to take a step back and breathe? Why is this? 3. What are some simple gifts of ordinary things in your life that you could pause to focus on for a brief meditation? A seashell collected on a vacation to reflect upon your time there? A photo of a loved one? Time spent petting your dog or cat? How about for your children? Words by Sumi Loundon Kim: The meditation has been more actively directed in nature. But it is also possible to practice in an undirected way, simply sitting with open awareness and being mindful of whatever arises and passes away as it is happening. A helpful way to frame this is that rather than 'doing' meditation, one is 'being' meditation (the often repeated phrase is that we are not human DOINGS but human BEINGS). I find this meditation useful when I am restless. I simply stop, breathe, and be. This meditation is helpful for letting go of outcomes generally, and for reducing striving and perfectionism around meditation itself. Dear UU Parents and Guardians
I'd love for you to join us for our weekly offerings: THIS SUNDAY TIME CHANGE: 9am - (usually 11am but changing due to congregational meeting at 11) Sunday School 30 Min Program geared towards K-5 but open to all ages Email me for the link Middle and HS Zoom Monday nights 6pm: Email me for the link Parent and Guardian Chat: The chance for parents and guardians to just get together and Every other Thursday 8pm and every other Wednesday noon TONIGHT Thursday the 14th 8pm Link: https://zoom.us/j/866583131 Password: lovemykids Wednesday the 20th at noon Link: https://zoom.us/j/474526337 Password: lovemykids New Youtube links for this week! Story with Ms Alexa: https://youtu.be/2ln67eEwtnI Story with Miss Heather: https://youtu.be/l5oA5sy_tHA Music with Miss Molly: https://youtu.be/nLLlP6MLWqI Weekly Message for Parents and Guardians Theme this week: The Golden Rule (Treat others the way you would want to be treated) Chelsea's Meditation: https://youtu.be/P9lOl_szv2I The meditation lessons which I am doing are geared towards K-5th graders, but everyone is welcome to them. The theme for my lesson this week was: The Golden Rule I read the book: Do Unto Otters Discussion questions to consider this week: 1. What is your definition of karma? Do you believe in it? 2. Think of some instances when you've observed cause and effect in your own life play out over various lengths of time: immediately, within a few weeks, or over multiple years. 3. What are some aspects of your family's karma that have persisted through the generations? What have you inherited karmically from your family? What do you wish to keep? What do you wish to transform? 4. As you've picked up on a meditative or spiritual path, have you been motivated to escape something from your past? 5. What ethical, psychological, and spiritual inheritance do you wish to bequeath to your children? Some Thoughts from Sumi Loundon Kim Pay careful attention to your intentions just before or as you do or say something. Examine how these intentions shape choices and determine outcomes. In this way, we can begin to gradually uncover how karma works in our lives through the everyday actions we often don't give much thought to. If we look carefully, we can often see the functioning of karma - the principle of cause and effect- in family patterns and across generations. In my own case, this became clear as I got to know different branches of my family and our generational history. Some of our stories and experiences were startlingly parallel. I could trace the impact of trauma in a way-back generation through each successive one and into my own. Alcoholism, personality disorders, frustration at being stuck in a housewife role, war- the suffering rolls right on through. The forward momentum of family karma is powerful. It's well known in the Dharma world that many of the people drawn to the meditation hall, including teachers, come with deep suffering. Of those, many carry trauma from their family of origin. Spiritual seekers therefore can be motivated to undertake a spiritual path to escape or bypass childhood suffering. People have the quiet hope that 'healing' means the pain will go away without having to face it. Spiritual seekers can feel quite enlightened on retreat or on the cushion, but come Thanksgiving or the next family-of-origin gathering, they are right back to old patterns and reactivity. The truth is that no matter how far we run or how long we stay away or how different a lifestyle we choose, we cannot escape our family karma. Even if we go to Asia to live as a cave-dwelling renunciate for decades, there's no running away from dealing with these issues. At some point, if we wish to heal and to give our children and the world a better inheritance, we have to look carefully at our roots and work hard to transform them. Our karmic inheritance doesn't mean that nothing can change. In my family, each generation has worked hard (through therapy and meditation, for instance) to become a little bit more skilled at breaking the cycle of shame and pain. My husband and I, though we surely have our faults from our own painful childhoods, are not bequeathing trauma to our children and are a reasonably healthy set of parents. We are careful not to water the seeds of anger, fear, and resentment and instead plant seeds of love, acceptance, and awareness. We hope these efforts will bear fruit with our children and grandchildren, and on into future generations. Wanting more about Karma? Here is an article from Tiny Buddha, "You Have the Power to Change Someone's Day for the Better" https://tinybuddha.com/blog/you-have-the-power-to-change-someones-day-for-the-better/ Put some good out in the world - it is so necessary right now. Yet, also save some energy for allowing goodness within yourself. Be gentle with yourselves this week. I am grateful for you. -- Dear UU Parents and Guardians
I'd love for you to join us for our weekly offerings: Sunday 11am Sunday School 30 Min Program geared towards K-5 but open to all ages Email me for the link Middle and HS Zoom Monday nights 6pm: Email me for the link Parent and Guardian Chat: The chance for parents and guardians to just get together and Every other Thursday 8pm and every other Wednesday noon Thursday the 14th 8pm Link: https://zoom.us/j/866583131 Password: lovemykids Wednesday the 20th at noon Link: https://zoom.us/j/474526337 Password: lovemykids New Youtube links for this week! Story with Ms Ashleigh:https://youtu.be/E4xFWMvJ5g8 Story with Miss Heather: https://youtu.be/8KCIoyNctU8 Music with Miss Molly: https://youtu.be/v7Yz6O7431Q Weekly Message for Parents and Guardians Theme this week: Generosity Chelsea's Meditation: https://youtu.be/vHlDq517HyQ The meditation lessons which I am doing are geared towards K-5th graders, but everyone is welcome to them. The theme for my lesson this week was: Generosity I read the book: Rainbow Fish Discussion questions to consider this week: 1. What was one of the most memorable gifts, either material or nonmaterial, that you have ever received? What about one that you've given? 2. How did it feel to give this gift? How did it feel to give your gift? 3. Why do you think generosity is one of the foremost teachings and practices in spiritual traditions? 4. Discuss some ways you think you could practice generosity, realistically and meaningfully, in the week ahead. 5. When you are generous with your children, are there strings attached, agendas, or mixed motivations behind your actions? 6. What is the line between generosity and indulgence with our children? 7. How might you cultivate generosity and sharing in your home? Some Thoughts from Sumi Loundon Kim Generosity is not confined to giving things or money. It is possible to be lavish with our gifts but parsimonious with our time and attention. For example, as a new parent, one day I noticed that I was purchasing toys for my kids in the hope that they would be entertained long enough for me to have some time for myself. Ironically, I think what my children really wanted was my attention, and i f I had given that to them fully, they would have been satisfied and gone on to play by themselves. In this way, generosity includes giving our time, our full attention, our love, our inner peace, our skills, and our friendship. These are the gifts that we cherish when someone gives them to us. Generosity also cultivates other significant qualities of spiritual development. It loosens our attachment to time, territory, and money and helps us to see that letting go is not as terrifying as we may have thought. It's an antidote to greed, of course. And acts of giving help us to reevaluate ourselves so that we are defined less by what we own or have and more by the quality of our mind. It's okay if, as you aspire to practice generosity, it's a little bit hard to do. The Tibetan Buddhist teacher Gehlek Rimpoche calls this feeling a 'pinch,' a sign that you're growing beyond your self-limits. A note in reflection of Mother's Day So - in relation to the concept of the word 'generosity', I wanted to recollect a notion that I heard from my own mother at one point. She said something to the effect of, "You know that last bite of chocolate cake? The one that tastes so good and you'd really love to finish? When you offer it to your child instead, that is what it's like being a mom. You always want the best for them. You put them first." Now, I have to selfishly admit that I have been known to refer to my ice cream as 'spicy' so my children don't eat it. I have totally taken that last bite, even though one of them was eyeing it. Yet, the concept remains. I will sacrifice my own sleep to ensure that they feel safe and cared for as I lay beside them and sing at night, even though I could/should be doing dishes, or winding down with some yoga. I will wash their clothes and wear my own sweater two days in a row. I will buy the veggie nuggets in dinosaur shapes instead of the Indian Curry that I'd really prefer. Being a parent is the epitome of generosity. We give...and give...and give when we have nothing left. And it is EXHAUSTING. So, I hope that if you are a parent and this week you are feeling as though you are really needing something to help fill your cup, I hope that you will consider gifting something for yourself. Whether that is the grace of taking a day off of work, five minutes peace in the morning with a cup of coffee before anyone else wakes up, or splurging on those slippers you have always wanted - I hope that you can do something for yourself. Thank yourself for the constant generosity you always offer to others. I don't know about you, but I have had the terrible tendency of holding high expectations on holidays for others to be generous to me. I am finally learning to extend that generosity to myself. I wish you so much love this day and all days. Be gentle with yourselves this week. I am grateful for you. Dear UU Parents and Guardians
I'd love for you to join us for our weekly offerings: ***Note: Some of these links have changed as there are now required passwords for safety*** Sunday 11am Sunday School 30 Min Program geared towards K-5 but open to all ages Email me for the link Middle and HS Zoom Monday nights 6pm: Email me for the link Parent and Guardian Chat: The chance for parents and guardians to just get together and Every other Thursday 8pm and every other Wednesday noon This Wednesday the 6th at noon Link: https://zoom.us/j/474526337 Password: lovemykids Next Thursday the 14th at 8pm Link: https://zoom.us/j/866583131 Password: lovemykids New Youtube links for this week! Story with Ms Alexa: https://youtu.be/3B6G3Bi8Xbs Story with Miss Heather: https://youtu.be/74D4G84pEkQ Music with Miss Molly: https://youtu.be/pKFY6E46-kY Weekly Message for Parents and Guardians Theme this week: Compassion Chelsea's Meditation: https://youtu.be/qMZYQd8Bjiw The meditation lessons which I am doing are geared towards K-5th graders, but everyone is welcome to them. The theme for my lesson this week was: Compassion Mira and the Worm The other night, I was getting my 3 year old daughter, Mira, down for bed. I THOUGHT she was close to falling asleep, but then I heard her start to cry. When I asked what was going on, she told me that she was sad because of the worm. Earlier in the day, she had found a worm, and before we went inside, I had asked her to put the worm back in the dirt so that it could find its home and have food to eat. She admitted to me that she had put the worm on a chair, not back in the dirt. She was so upset because she thought that the worm might not find their home or food. I decided in that moment to go outside with a flashlight, find the worm, and put it back in the dirt. She was much happier. This was a life lesson. Some things can wait, some cannot. Every living thing matters. We can have compassion for even the smallest of creatures, and treat them with dignity. In this moment, I was able to inadvertently teach her about both our first Unitarian Universalist principle (We believe that every person (creature) has worth and dignity) and also our 7th principle (We believe in the interconnection of all life). Phrases you (or children) can use during meditation that address compassion: May you be free from suffering May you be free from pain and sorrow May you be held in compassion May you be at peace Words by Sumi Loundon Kim "Much of our harmful behavior comes from such disconnect, carelessness, and busyness. We wish for others to treat us thoughtfully, yet if we go about our lives carelessly, eventually we will reap what we sow. Therefore, when we act with integrity and take care not to heedlessly dispense with life, we protect our own well-being. Compassion is our heart's ability to resonate with and open to the suffering of others. Compassion also guides us to live in a way that causes the least harm to ourselves and others. When we become sensitive to the pain of others, and we see what kinds of speech and actions create that suffering, then in a very simple way we lose the desire to hurt others, even when it would give us short term pleasure. Compassion is one of the most natural ways to lead us to live by the highest standards of non harming. (During meditation) Depending on the person you're sending compassion to, you may need to adjust the phrasing. For example, if someone's pain cannot be changed, say, "May you be in comfort," or "May you be at ease during this difficult time." Begin with someone who is in clear difficulty and for whom it's easy to connect with(in other words, not your difficult person). Spend some time understanding this situation and cultivating the compassionate heart. Then use the same progression as in metta meditation, returning to yourself, or a benefactor, then a friend, a neutral person, a difficult person, and all beings. If you feel overwhelmed by your own or others' suffering, then shift to practicing compassion for yourself. When you feel settled, return back to the progression . Allow your heart to soften and relax. Toward the end of the meditation, let go of the phrases and sit quietly, noticing how you are at the moment" Questions for you as a parent/guardian this week: 1. In what ways can thoughts themselves be internally harmful? 2. What identifiable ways do you intentionally or unintentionally cause harm? How would you like to change that? 3. How do you talk to your children about not harming others or making amends when harm has been done? This social distancing stuff is HARD. I know many of us are losing patience quickly. It's okay to admit when we are wrong. It's okay to tell our children that we made a mistake, that we'd like a do-over, that we know we can all do better. It's okay to start the day in one way, and end it on a different note. Our children are constantly learning from us. If we admit mistakes, they will also learn that it's okay to admit mistakes. If we apologize, if we make better choices, if we ask forgiveness, they learn all of those positive ways of being as well. Be gentle with yourselves this week. I am grateful for you. |
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AuthorChelsea Krafka is the Director of Religious Growth for the Unitarian Church of Lincoln. Archives
August 2021
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