mindfulness- Learning from difficulty

Dear UU Parents and Guardians, 

It would be lovely if you could join us for our weekly gatherings! 

Here is what is currently being offered: 

*Sunday School *
Approximately: 30 minute program geared towards K-5 but open to all ages
Sundays at 11am
Please email me for the link

This Sunday is a guest from Pioneers Park Nature Center!!!

This summer you will find: Drag Queen Story Hour, Yoga with Maggie, and the

Pioneers Park Nature Center as well as guests from our very own UU
volunteer pool of caring adults. Each week is something different!

*Middle and HS Zoom *
Taking August off for a break and will resume in September

*Parent and Guardian Chat: *
The chance for parents and guardians to just get together and chat
Every other Thursday 8pm and every other Wednesday noon

Thursday 8/20
      Link: https://zoom.us/j/866583131     Password: lovemykids 

 Wednesday 8/26
      Link: https://zoom.us/j/474526337     Password: lovemykids    
 
NEW! Family Spotlight! 

In an effort for us to remember seeing faces, and to get to know one another better, I am going to spotlight one family each month in our church newsletter. 

Sign up HERE to participate

There's only a handful of spots, so grab yours while there's a chance!
No need to think about it now - just when it comes to the month of your sign-up and I will contact you again with the info. 
This information will show up in our UU newsletter, our email to parents, and perhaps our church 'social' facebook age. If you would NOT like for us to share this spotlight in any of those places please let me know.
I'll ask for the following:

1. A photograph of your family
2. Names of everyone and ages or grade levels of your children IF you feel comfortable doing so
3. A SHORT paragraph answering some of the following questions from your family as a whole, or from some of the individual members:
     1. What is your favorite part of being in our church community?
                Example:
                                We always look forward to the Soup Supper each year!
                                 or
                                Little Suzie loves the church potlucks the best

     2. What is a favorite experience or memory or what brought you to our church?
                Example:
                                 Timmy remembers Bruce Raymer teaching his
                                 classroom when they went outside to pick up trash
                                 around the playground and talked about our earth
                                 or
                                  Daisy remembers a Christmas Eve service when she
                                  sang Silent Night and met her friend Rosie for the first
                                  time
                                  or
                                  My wife and I brought our children to this church
                                  because I came for a meeting of the Wildlife Lovers of
                                  Lincoln and saw the rainbow flags. I looked at some of
                                  brochures Chelsea had put out about the program and
                                  it seemed like a great fit for our family

Community Art Project! 

Please color one or more of these coloring pages and then take a photo and send as a photo attachment to my email, or send to the church's address: 
Unitarian Church of Lincoln
Attn: Chelsea Krafka
6300 A Street
Lincoln, NE  68510
I can print and bring to your house if you don't have a printer

Coming of Age for High School Students:
Deadline to submit an email with interest is August 31st 
More information can be found here

New in September:
Look for emails from me which will start incorporating new themes: our connection with the services and the UUA through our Soul Matters Curriculum for families which can be done on your own time! 

*New Youtube links for this week!*

Music with Miss Molly:     https://youtu.be/77PR_0k3nf0  
Story with Miss Heather: https://youtu.be/fgcMwhmD0Mc

Story with Ms Alexa: https://youtu.be/237b7VTq2Ck

Chelsea's Meditation Video: https://youtu.be/u3Yf1QhtDfo

Theme this week: Starting the New School Year and Learning From Difficulty

Words from Sumi Loundon Kim:

One of the hardest aspects of parenting is seeing our children suffer, whether it's from a small scrape, a difficult issue with a friend, losing a soccer game, or struggling with a home-work assignment. Our natural impulse is to fix whatever is wrong so that our children don't suffer. Yet, we ourselves know that our own maturation came about by working through challenges. Nonetheless, some parents are so overprotective that psychologists are concerned our kids aren't learning the skills needed to encounter, learn to cope with, and grow from suffering. Our well-intended interventions result in preventing our kids from developing resilience, grit, and determination, as well as a basic understanding that difficulty is a natural part of life. A good question to ask, therefore, is what exactly wise and compassionate parenting looks like. How much should we let our children encounter suffering? When is the right time to intervene and protect them? of course, we cannot take things too far. It is our responsibility as parents to protect our children until they can protect themselves. But there are many small ways that our children can learn from difficulty, if we have the wisdom to allow it. 
Today's lesson is about being at peace with change. This is called equanimity, when we can be calm and balanced even when things are changing. The Buddha taught that everything in life is changing all the time. Let's think about whether this is really true. Can you name something that doesn't change? 
Whatever your child might point out in response to this question - point out ways it might change. For example- a mountain eventually wears down from water and wind into sand, albeit very slowly over millions of years. The sunrise and sunset change with teh tilting of the earth's axis as it orbits the sun throughout the year. And 5 billion years ago, there wasn't even an earth. And so on. 
You may suggest seasons, body growing bigger, or starting a new grade at school. 
Second, there are unexpected changes, things we didn't know were going to happen. What are some unexpected changes you've experienced? 
Children might say getting sick, not going to a friend's birthday party; dad brought home ice cream. 
Some of these unexpected changes make us happy, like surprises, but some of them can be pretty stressful, right? Unexpected, unwelcome changes are the hardest kinds of change. 
What are some unwanted, unwelcome changes?
What are some ways we can deal with unexpected difficult changes?
If your children don't come up with this themselves, remind them of the following: 
*talk to our parents
*take a break and do something relaxing
*talk to ourselves and provide reassurance
*breathe slowly
*remember equanimity
Equanimity means to keep things in perspective. We don't know if something is actually bad until much later. Sometimes things are actually good. And sometimes things turn out to be bad after all, so what can we do then? 

Reflection:  

Friends, wow, this week has been hard, eh? The start of in-person school for some, or considering remote learning next Monday. Perhaps you are navigating homeschooling for the first time? One way or another, your children and your family will be entering into a school season for the first time during a pandemic. Personally, I have been up in the air up until a couple of days ago about what to do with my kindergarten student. Only today, Friday, in the afternoon, did the homeroom teacher at his school finally email parents what the Zoom schedule would look like. I think what I'm currently deciding for my son is for him to be in childcare at Dimensions, a nature-based education center, while also taking one day a week to be super intentional about homeschooling for him. My biggest worry in all this has been that he won't learn what he's supposed to learn in Kindergarten (ie: abcs, 123s, starting to write, starting to read left to right, beginning addition and subtraction, etc). However, I need to give myself a break from the mental stress. My son is a bright child. He will catch up. I will be intentional, and he will learn what is needed to enter 1st grade next year with a great start. He WILL have difficulty because he has not been in a 'typical' classroom. There will be a period of adjustment. He will struggle with what I missed, and what his teachers expect from him according to Nebraska State Standards. This is not easy for any of us parents. This is such a difficult year to feel like we are making the right choices, and doing right by our children. ALL of our children will experience difficulty this year in some way....because we are in the middle of a pandemic! Whether it is getting used to wearing masks, washing hands, learning social norms albeit 6 feet away from other children most of the day, or learning new technology, or adjusting expectations, or adjusting to parents and guardians as educators....this is a difficult year. HOWEVER, it will most certainly be a MEMORABLE year. They will be resilient. They will overcome the challenges, and there will be brighter days. They will allow the difficulty to be a teacher in their lives, and it will make them stronger, and more able to adapt to challenges in the future. We're in this together. I'm here for you. Please feel free to reach out if you want another parent to talk to. 

Discussion Questions:
1. How is silence currently experienced in your family life? 
2. How much unstructured time do you have? How much do your children have? What would you like to change, of anything?
3. What are some instances in which allowing difficulty is not appropriate, when it is important for the parent to intervene? What are some instances in which allowing difficulty can serve in learning and transformation? 
4. What are some other ideas that would contribute to wise parenting or wise family life?